Sudahkah anda jumpa O&G tahun ini?

Minggu lepas ke Perdana. Bertemujanji dengan Dr Awang Nila. Sekali lagi, walaupun ia setahun sekali, prosedur yang sama, Pap Smear, CA125 dan pelvic ultrasound aku tetap dap dup dap. Bukan pikiaq pasai buat test bagai tu. Betuilah orang kata. Aku tak kata tau, ni orang yang kata. Penantian itu menyiksakan. Bagi aku penantian itu ' scare the hell out of me'. Dok tunggu result tu yang buat aku berdebar debar.


Hidup dengan dok pikiaq aku ni adalah tergolong dalam higher risk mendapat 3c, buat aku bersemangat, optimistik dan dalam pada masa yang sama aku takut.  Its only a matter of time. Yang penting, aku akan selalu berdoa dan berusaha malahan InshaAllah akan sentiasa buat yearly checkup and whatevever it takes just to be with my family. Yang selebihnya, aku serahkan pada Allah. Apapun, aku redha. Benda benda genetik ni bukan boleh diubah atau dibuang. Bukan, bukan. Itu semua diluar kawalan. Allah Maha Mengetahui. Allah Maha Berkuasa.

Yang belum, buatlah temujanji dengan O&G setahun sekali. Yearly checkup terutamanya Pap Smear. Jangan malu, jangan segan. Tak lama pun. Beberapa minit ja. Ok bai. Nak pi makan.

Too much of everything?

Aiyoo. I am having a problem to sleep. Too much of nasi lemak and roti tissue and spagetti lah. I was fasting today and Cp brought back two box of spagetti. Then after that, we went out to Roti Canai Cikgu since the kids nak makan roti tissue. Balik rumah, terus rasa loya. Oh boy! Aku baca Bismillah ka dak tadi? Hehe.

Cp was so into that 'past thing'. I told him to stop but since hes the Boss, so i am gonna have to let him do what he want. Hissh. Esok Cp tak cuti. Me and the kids are just going to stay at home. So, there goes my impian for tapai at Pasar Tani Tanah Merah. Perhaps next week. Tu lah, bawak kereta tak reti. Kan susah.

Ok. Mata sudah pedih. I should try to sleep. Esok Cp nak gerak awal. Nite nite.

Thursday rambling

Dah hampir 3 bulan ulang alik setiap minggu ke KB. His physio session cuma akan habis awal bulan Jul ai ni. Jadi, ikut sajalah saranan Dr. 

Dua hari lepas, nampak gaya macam nak jerebu tapi Alhamdulillah, malam tu hujan. Paling risau pasal Syazwani. Dia kan tergolong dalam Sensitive People. Kualiti udara yang buruk sudah pasti mqemberi kesan dekat sistem pernafasan dia which will lead to asthma attack. Harap tiada.

I just found out the truth about something which has been haunting me for years. Luckily, the truth has set me free from feeling guilty. What a relief!

Ok. Cukup lah menaip untuk hari ini.

 

 

 

  

I am so sorry dear xxxx...

Assalam. Its been a while since my last entry. Berehat. At this point, all I need is a real life, normal life without any drama.

Dear you, its not my problem if you think you are an idiot. I never called you stupid. Oh please. Why would I? And we never had any argument kan? Not even a teeny weeny fight! I am so sorry that you have to feel that way. So sorry.

By the way, my Cp paid for everything. I am just a housewife. I do not pay my own bills.From top to toe, not a single cents is coming from my wallet. Eh, i ada wallet ka? Kita cuma hidup ikut kemampuan. Ada duit, kita beli. Thats it. Whats your problem?Even it is a cheap shoe or a cheap baju, thats duit hasil titik peluh Cp. What do you know? Why do you care? I dont care what you think of me. Titik.

Mei 2013 - Tanah Merah, Kelantan

Wah. Cepatnya masa berlalu. It was like in a blink of an eye. My little Syafiyah is now 13months old. I really love her flowing locks. Kakak Wani dan kakak wina terpaksa berambut pendek buat masa sekarang to get rid all the bad lices nesting on their head. Kutu jahat!

Dah setahun lebih berumahtangga di Kelantan. Wherever we are, as long as we are together, we will be fine. InshaAllah. Itu saja.

 

 

Lesson learnt.

Sakit mental ada pelbagai. Kadang kadang taksub sangat pun boleh mengundang kepada sakit mental. Berkobar kobar I tengok semangat You. Buatlah apa pun, tulislah apapun, komenlah apa apa saja asal tak mengaibkan orang. I have learnt my lesson. I cannot undo what ive said, wrote or done. All I know is that what I did back then was wrong. I was not aware of the consequences. The price I had to pay is high and I still regret it untill now.

Saya suka saya suka.

Alhamdulillah.

Smiling.
Still smiling.
Hehehe.
Macam budak budak.
I have been wanting this pretty pretty thing for so long.  Thank you CP. Words cant describe. Thank you again from me and the kids.

My Sweet Candy

She's now 11 months old. Walking steadily and now, at the phase of learning how to run. I cant remember when is the last time i had the best sleep ever for the past 11 months. Non I guess.

Little Aiman macam biasa. Lots of ideas in his head. Ni nak buat. Itu nak buat. This 5 years old boy just had his birthday and still waiting for his favorite cake from SR. Tunggu ya Aiman.

Little Wina is now 7 years old and she is so thin! Makan banyak gila but still tak boleh gain weight. Shes a very active girl and loves to dance. Pening aku tengok. Spinning like  apa ntah all over the house sampai berpeluh peluh. Shes my good girl.

Kakak Wani is still on medication. Hopefully, after 3 months she wont have to use that thing anymore. Semoga dia lebih sihat dan ceria macam kanak lain. Wani Wani. Sekejap ja masa berlalu. Shes now 9 years old and sooner akan jadi remaja pulak.

 I love my Cp, I love my kids, i love my life I'm living right now. There's no way I'm going to trade for what I have with something else.

Bila hormon mengganas...

Orang yang teruk ada di mana mana. Orang yang baik pun bersepah merata rata. Orang yang di 'menyampah'kan paling senang nak jumpa. Dalam fb mmg banyak.Kenapa aku kata aku menyampah? Sebab musabab ada di bawah:

• Dua puluh pat jam kata orang tu dengki, orang ni dengki, orang sana jealous dengan dia. Hadoii. Orang macam ni, sangat sesuai untuk di unfriend oleh aku. Bye bye.
• Merungut merungut merungut. Dua puluh pat jam merungut. Menyampah ai. Bosan la, mengantuk la, lapaq la, penat la. Hoi, tak da life ka. Merungut dalam fb dapat apa? Sesuai jugak aku unfriend. Tattttaaaa.
• Ayat tarak serupa empunya diri. Whoa hoo. Update ayat menginsafkan bagai, tapi perintah Allah kau buat main. Kau update suruh orang bersyukur dengan segala nikmat Allah,ajak orang insaf dari berbuat maksiat, habih tu yang aurat kau pegi tayang buat apa. Tolonglah. Tolonglah. Nyanyuk ka hapa? Bye bye jugak untuk kau.
• Letak gambaq sendiri cun posing bagai, pas tu letak caption ' Suka tengok orang cantik' atau 'syukur dengan nikmat'. WTFreak! Bagi aku kau RIAK. Adios.

Saya tahu dan saya redha

Walau hati sedih dan sedikit terkilan, terpaksa terima kenyataan ia bukan milik kami. Yang pasti, Allah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. InshaAllah, suatu hari nanti pasti ada.